Ways On How To Solve Relationship Issues In A Healthy Manner
Conflicts are bound to occur in any form of relationship either at the workplace or any other social interaction. In the course of dating or even married life, couples experience conflicts because of different ways of communication, values or ways of looking at life. But what actually makes a relationship successful is how the partners solve these conflicts. Conflicts can be productive if managed in a positive way they help in enhancing the bond between two people and increase the level of understanding of one another.
This article will focus on how conflicts can be managed properly and tips that can be used by couples in order to keep the communication and passion alive during the conflict.
1. In order to effectively manage conflict it is important to understand its cause.
So, before starting an explosive discussion, one should take a moment and think as to why the conflict has arisen. Quite frequently, it is possible to notice that the outer problem is actually not the primary one. For instance, a quarrel over cleaning the house may be as a result of one partner feeling that the other is not contributing enough or is not recognizing his or her efforts.
Spending time to understand what could be the core feeling that is being expressed can assist in resolving the problem and thus promote healthy dialogue. Both partners should take a step back and ask themselves what it is that is actually upsetting them. This self-reflection enables each individual to come to the discussion with a better understanding of his or her self and his or her wants and feelings.
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
It is very important that people learn how to live with each other because this is the only way through which issues can be sorted out in a correct manner. When two persons are communicating freely then they both can express themselves regarding their feelings without the fear of being offended or insulted. Try not to use the blaming or accusing language and instead try to use the ‘I’ language to express your feelings and requirements. For instance, instead of saying that your partner does not listen to you by saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel ignored when we do not talk about certain issues. ”
When it comes to matters that are likely to be emotionally charged such as financial matters, trust issues, or intimacy (including issues to do with free sex videos or other adult content), it is important that one creates a good foundation. Do not swear, yell or dismiss your partner’s point of view. It means that you have to tell your partner the way you feel, but at the same time give the partner a way to express him or herself similarly.
3. Listen Actively and Empathetically
Silence is also as powerful as words especially while handling conflicts. This is where you pay attention to what your partner is saying without interrupting him or her or thinking about what you are going to say next. That is where the empathy comes in – make an effort to see things from your partner’s point of view.
When your partner shares his or her concerns or feelings, make sure to validate your partner’s feelings even if you do not share the same sentiment. It also serves the purpose of calming down the both parties and create a platform for constructive discussion. Such phrases as, ‘I can see why you have that opinion,’ or ‘I can see where you are coming from’ are very helpful in lowering defensiveness and paving the way for healthy conversation.
4. Focus on the Present
In any conflict situation, one should ensure that he or she does not get distracted. It is advisable not to dig up old issues or_Remember not to refer to things that were not related to the current issue. This could confuse the talk and even complicate matters and make it difficult to arrive at a decision.
For example, if you’re talking about a conflict concerning intimacy, for example, different perceptions regarding what is appropriate, do not deviate from this topic. It is also important not to bring up other issues which are not related to the issue at hand because this will only complicate the issue and may lead to more people getting offended. Staying on the topic is advised and; therefore, the current conflict should be discussed.
5. Own up the Consequences of Your Actions
In any conflict it is safe to assume that both the parties in the conflict have in one way or the other contributed to the conflict. One has to own up to the mistakes that he or she has made and perhaps identify areas that may have been done wrongly. As much as it may be unpalatable, saying sorry where it is due can go a long way in restoring confidence and show willing.
For instance, if you find that in your relationship, you have dismissed your partner’s concerns, the next thing to do is to say sorry and make sure that you do not repeat such a mistake in the future. Similarly if a boundary was violated in your relationship in terms of intimacy or privacy it is important to address the betrayal of trust and work on defining new boundaries that will not be breached in the future.
6. Do Not Use Name Calling and Other Personal Attacks
When people are angry, they may want to say things which are likely to hurt the other person. However, instead of using rational arguments the conflict is only worsening and more emotional harm is being done. Such behaviors might damage trust and closeness within a relationship and make it more difficult to solve an issue later on.
This means that instead of using insult, the focus should be on the issues that are making you feel that way. Of course, you should not aim to “win” the conflict or humiliates the partner, but to find the solution that will benefit both of you and strengthen your relationship.
7. Learn When to Quit and have a Break
At some point, emotions can be too intense in a conflict thus making the involved parties frustrated and angry. At such a time, it is acceptable to step off the discussion. Sometimes, it is good to step back from what one is saying and the same applies to the other person; this can prevent the fight from escalating.
However, it’s important to let your partner know that this pause is only temporary and that you will both be coming back to it soon after both of you have had a chance to digest it. For instance, you may say, ‘I am so stressed at the moment, can we come back to this in one hour?’ This will make the partner understand that you are not backing out from the stand but need some time to get over the stress to handle the situation appropriately.
8. It is a Joint Process of Finding the Solution.
It is not simply shouting out one’s problems; it is about coming up with ways of solving the conflict to the benefit of both people in the relationship. After having the conversation, both of you should concentrate on coming up with a strategy on how to proceedings in the future.
This might mean being more specific about what is expected and not expected from the relationship, for example, how frequently one will meet. It may also entail specific action, including coming up with a better way of sharing household chores or setting up times for checking in to address any issues that may be arising.
Remember, compromise is key. Therefore, both of the partners might have to give some amount of compromises or sacrifice in order to make the relationship a healthy and satisfactory one for both.
9. Remember to ask for Assistance from an Expert When Required
It is true that sometimes, conflicts may seem to be beyond our control or it could be just too hard to handle. This means that in such cases, it may be quite useful to seek assistance from a relationship counselor or a therapist. A therapist will help both you and your partner come up with better ways of communicating and address other problems and issues, and solve conflicts in a more positive way.
You shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask for help – it is a clear sign that you both are willing to enhance your relationship and make it last.
Conclusion
It’s important to note that conflict is inevitable in every relationship, yet it doesn’t have to hurt the bond that you share with your partner. It is because if you go into conflicts with an understanding, empathy, and the tendency of getting along, then you can solve them in a healthy manner and even strengthen your relationship in the long run.
For conflict resolution, both the conflicting parties should be able to express themselves without any form of barriers, listen to each other and appreciate each other. This is the same for minor issues and major issues in a relationship such as trust, intimacy. Thus, knowing these tactics, the couples can turn the conflicts into the positive changes and deepen their relationship.
